Lies Teachers Tell Their Students

LIE: Everything I say will be on the exam so pay close attention. TRUTH: Keep quiet and stop playing with your phones!

LIE: This knowledge will help you in the future! TRUTH: You'll need this knowledge only in case you decide to become a teacher.
LIE: It's a very important book you should read to have a profound understanding of this subject. TRUTH: There's only one paragraph in it that is really important, but I want to see you suffer reading through all of it.
LIE: No, I can't be mistaken about this fact. You must have read an unreliable source with the questionable information. TRUTH: I hope you're wrong and I won't need to rewrite my material.
LIE: I'm looking forward to reading your brilliant essays! TRUTH: I expect you'll at least spell the title correctly…
LIE: You have a great future lying ahead of you. TRUTH: I'm required to say that to every student.
LIE: You really impressed me with your last assignment. TRUTH: You didn't fail as much as I expected you to.
LIE: I know the difference between a student who has been studying hard for my exam and the one who spent one single night trying to memorize the material. TRUTH: I really don't. But try to memorize at least anything from my class.
LIE: This may or may not be on the test. TRUTH: Write it down, you lazy bones! This will definitely be on the test.
LIE: That is not funny at all! TRUTH: That's hilarious! I'm going to remember that joke and tell it to my other class.
LIE: I promise this test will be very easy for you to cope with. TRUTH: Those who were not writing down every single word I said in class during the last couple of weeks will fail.
LIE: I see you as a student of huge potential. TRUTH: You're failing everything and there's a microscopic chance for you to change that.
LIE: One day you'll remember me and be grateful for the things I've taught you. TRUTH: You'll forget my name as soon as you leave the school.
LIE: I'm just going to wait until you all calm down. TRUTH: I'm very close to giving you all a test on the material we haven't covered yet if you don't shut up.
LIE: I never discuss your surreal excuses for not doing your assignments with other teachers. TRUTH: I do it all the time and we all have a good laugh.